So here's the script. You're born into a house with a section. You play in that section or at the park with your parents or at the playzone/funpark/pool/managed environment. If you are lucky you might be able to play with the neighbours kids. One day when you have kids of your own, the thing to do is to "own" your own home. You splash out a deposit and settle in for 20-30+ years of payments that it will take (or your whole life nowadays).
If you have one child then all power to you, they might be able to escape this cycle. If you have two children or more then it's unlikely this is going to work very well. They will probably have to live away from you in a cheaper part of town at the very least.

The hint is in the colour schemes; the conformity and the lack of imagination they represent.

But this isn't really about house prices. It's about what we're actually spending our money on (well technically borrowing). The above picture spins the wheels of most city planners. New subdivision, beautiful curbs, brand new houses and services all hooked up and everyone paying their rates. I've always found this model unsettling but after living on the road for a year I'm starting to be able to articulate why. The hint is in the colour schemes; the conformity and the lack of imagination they represent.

You see this particular model does suit some people, but a large number of people I meet living in this type of environment are depressed. Especially young parents although they often seem unaware why.

Firstly there is the road. Kids, you can't leave the section especially when you are young because you'll get hit by a car. That in itself is a massive topic in it's own right. But lets move on. For a lot of people to buy one of these houses is a big deal. To buy one next to other friends with kids or parents is near on impossible to plan. If you've achieved this - awesome. Most don't.

You live in your house, people visit you, you visit people (in your car mostly) and in the evenings one of you is staying home unless you've scored a baby sitter. You resign yourself to minimal social life, minimal adult type interactions and life dominated by transition; putting kids into the car or taking them out. Typically this is easier on the parent who is working. They get to get away and have some adult time, think about things bigger than resolving fights and cleaning up food. You might be on your own most of the time or you both work; but these choices are near on always a direct result around the decision to fund this house that now dominates life.

But that's all we've ever known isn't it. Parents occasionally dream of living in a community where their kids can run around, play freely with other kids, stay exploring outside all day to come home at dark to a late tea; but quickly assign that to utopia - something no longer achievable or realistic in this day and age.

If there was one big word to describe this disrupting of the house/section metaphor it would be "social".

Here's the clanger. We've now lived both these lives and let me describe what we've experienced. For starters we've been invited to stay with quite a few families we've only just met.  There's always the first few polite interactions, awkwardly parking the bus's great big arse somewhere, kids shyly looking out the windows. I'm not the best at meeting new people but I'm getting the hang of it. But by about 3-4 days the parents we're staying with have suddenly realised what it means to have another family living separately but in proximity.

The kids play together outside, they're happy and learning. 
Not only that but in the evenings we can hang out, swap stories etc. It's suddenly like your camping. We've had outdoor fires with guitars, marshmallows and a drink, between the two "houses"; baby monitors armed and operational on multiple nights IN A ROW.

Then there's the realisation that us babysitters are constantly on tap and after the first awkward request to go out and do a mission it becomes a part of their life. Since having kids Ange and I have never hung out socially together anywhere near as much as we do now. If there was one big word to describe this disrupting of the house/section metaphor it would be "social".

Where we're currently parked which is in the countryside on the bombay hills - all the kids spent the first few days out of sight for the whole afternoon literally roaming through fields of trees and didn't come back to the bus till after their bed times. They played with a rope swing and their imaginations. The hope in this for any parent is we weren't entirely sure we even had those sorts of kids until we hit the road. Seems daft to think kids might not be kids now but ours were heavily involved in that daily subversive fight for screen time (some still are but to a much lesser degree) and hated going outside.

There's no time to get sick of us which makes it a permanent honeymoon for everyone.

Now lets be entirely clear; this isn't about us. All we are experiencing is the natural existence of human beings sharing the role of growing kids. It's village life for idiots. It's community at it's least controlling and most empowering form.  It's being dependant on others and them on you to live the demanding life of raising children with panache. I'd love to see just how mad this might get with 3 or 4 families.

Here's the brutal reality check, compared to neighbourhoods of house buyers; we don't stay for years or even months. There's no time to get sick of us which makes it a permanent honeymoon for everyone. But it makes me take those photos above when I drive past new suburbs in disbelief, marvelling at its apparent appeal.

What actual planning, what actual thinking went into designing this living arrangement?
Why don't we make houses mobile so we can try out different friends and raise kids where we currently love to live?
How did the desire of some to live on a square surrounded by high fences or roads dictate this Xerox approach to suburban design?
Can't we at least if all the houses are the same organise swaps so family friends with kids can live by each other?

How did we come to settle at such great cost for such dastardly sub-standard, sub-urban living?